Living on the Edge of Now

Before I dive into stories of mountains, illness, solitude, and grace, I want to begin here—with where this journey truly begins. This preface from The Edge of Now sets the stage not just for the book

Excerpt: From the Preface of The Edge of Now

In every journey, there are places we tread lightly, standing as though on a threshold, aware we may be moving between realms. For me, “The Edge of Now” isn’t just a title but a state of existence that became my reality the day I truly understood what it means to live with a foot in two worlds: the familiar terrain of the everyday and the uncharted territory shaped by cancer.

Since that moment, words like “intention,” “gratitude,” and “being present” have taken on a depth I once only glimpsed. What was once simply a daily practice or gentle reminder has become the very foundation of how I move through each day. The idea of being grateful for each sunrise, each breath, isn’t just a comforting thought—it’s a lifeline.

For those who have not faced the stark reality of mortality, who have not stood in the space between life as it was and life as it now is, these notions may feel distant or even like clichés. But when you have looked death in the eye, the meaning changes. Gratitude becomes survival, intention becomes an anchor, and presence becomes necessary.

On this journey, I found myself living with dual impacts, where each action, however small, held more weight. I awoke each morning to a new negotiation between embracing life as it had been and surrendering to what it had now become. These moments—once fleeting, easily passed over—became layered with new meaning.

The thrill of adventure collided with the quiet limitations of a body forever changed, each experience underscoring the profound truth of living with intention.

Acceptance, I’ve come to realize, is not a single moment but a spectrum, each kind of acceptance carrying its own challenges and revelations. It has been an acceptance of uncertainty, of questions that may never find answers, of a body that responds differently to each new landscape, each new adventure.

There is the acceptance of limitations, acknowledging that while my mind remains eager, my body now speaks louder, dictating a pace I had not anticipated. It is the acceptance of mortality—a gradual awareness that tomorrow is not promised—that has transformed each decision and encounter in ways I never imagined.

The acceptance of support has perhaps been the most humbling lesson. I’ve long relied on my own strength, yet I’ve learned that true resilience is not just standing alone but allowing others to stand beside me. It’s a vulnerable acceptance, an acknowledgment that letting others carry some of the weight doesn’t lessen my strength but deepens it.

Finally, acceptance has brought transformation—an awareness that these dualities are not merely limitations but invitations to grow.

This space between worlds holds its own kind of life, a place where intention, gratitude, and presence are not luxuries but necessities. In navigating these realms, I have found that letting go and accepting these forces opens up new possibilities and a kind of freedom within limitations I once thought insurmountable.

This book is a story of moving through that space, of honoring each step, each moment, as it is—because every moment I’m given is an invitation to live life fully.

Reflection:

Awareness. Dignity. Purpose. These aren’t buzzwords—they are survival tools. If this excerpt resonated, it’s because you’ve stood at an edge of your own. Maybe not between life and death, but between the person you were and the one you are becoming.

That too is sacred ground.

My experiences have led me to discover a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. This newfound purpose has guided my actions and decisions, providing me with a clear direction and motivation. It has helped me understand that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and that my journey is about more than just overcoming obstacles—it's about finding and fulfilling my true potential.

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